Discourage, Spiritual Warfare & St. Ignatius

 

The Fourth Rule of St. Ignatius

The fourth is of spiritual desolation.  I call desolation all the contrary of the third rule, such as darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movement to low and earthly things, disquiet from various agitations and temptations, moving to lack of confidence, without hope, without love, finding oneself totally slothful, tepid, sad, and, as if separated from one's Creator and Lord.  For just as consolation is contrary to desolation, in the same way that thoughts that come from consolation are contrary to the thoughts that come from desolation.  - The 4th rule of St. Ignatius as translated by Fr. Timothy Gallagher in The Discernment of Spirits

Where I Was At

Last week, started on a wonderful note.  I had just decided to start talk about new age deception on my YouTube channel.  I spent time in the garden.  I toggled back and forth between the fiction and nonfiction manuscript.  I worked on my etsy shop.  I blogged.

And then desolation hit.  Not regular old, every day desolation.  Spiritual desolation, which does as Fr. Gallagher explains in The Discernment of Spirits, strike hard at your life of faith.

It began with fatigue.  Not a usual kind of fatigue either because there was no real reason for me to be tired.  I was going to bed early with the new puppy.  Because I'd started saying my Rosary before I fell asleep, I had been sleeping well.

So, sense there was no reason for me to be tired, I  decided to push on through.  I even wrote up a new routine.  One that started at 5:30 and included everything I wanted to get done.

Then I felt suddenly overwhelmed.  Is it really possible, I wondered, to do it all?

The Discouragement of Darkness, Disturbance and Earthly Things

I call desolation all the contrary of the third rule, such as darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movement to low and earthly things, disquiet from various agitations and temptations, moving to lack of confidence... - From the 4th rule of St. Ignatius as translated by Fr. Timothy Gallagher in The Discernment of Spirits

The confidence I'd felt about doing YouTube wavered.  I wondered how I'd fit in time to work on my Etsy shop.  I worried about fitting in prayer time.  Continuing with this blog seemed daunting.

So I pulled out Fr. Gallagher's book and read the fourth rule. As I did, I was struck by how closely my own negative feelings aligned with what St. Ignatius described.  Then I read what Fr. Gallagher had to say about darkness of the soul.

If the good spirit gives "inspirations" (rule 2) that communicate light and clarify the way toward God, the enemy, conversely instills a darkness of soul with precisely the contrary effect. -  The Discernment of Spirits

This I thought, is important.

The Fifth Rule Brings Clarity

In a time of desolation never make a change, but be firm and constant in the proposals and determination in which one was the day preceding such desolation, or in the determination in which one was in the preceding consolation.  Because as in consolation the good spirit guides and counsels us more, so in desolation the bad spirit with whole counsels we cannot fine the way to a right decision. - The fifth rule of St. Ignatius as translated by Fr. Timothy Gallagher in The Discernment of Spirits

As Fr. Gallagher points out this rule contains two parts - a guideline and the explanation.  The guideline is clear - in a time of spiritual desolation never make a change.

In the Discernment of Spirits Fr. Gallagher provides several clear examples of how spiritual desolation looks and feels that helped me to feel certain this was where I was at.  He made the explanation part of the fifth rule clear as well:

During spiritual consolation the good spirit is guiding and counseling us.  The time of spiritual consolation is thus the time to accept the work of God... In times of spiritual desolation however, the bad spirit is a t work, "With whose counsels we cannot find the way to a right decisions.  -  The Discernment of Spirits

My first step, then was not to make any kind of decision until my sense of spiritual desolation passed.  I continued with the ebook and setting up the YouTube studio and this blog.