There was a time when I was fascinated with cemeteries. When I was involved in the new age and occult, in fact, they were my favorite place for recording EVPs and taking spirit photos.
So it's not surprising really that while other people's Memorial Day trips to the cemetery were all about remembering their loved ones, my focus was on talking to spirits.
And sometimes, of course, they talked back.
New Age Memorial Day
There was one Memorial Day in particular when I visited the cemetery where my family was buried. I had the best of intentions. I'd even brought begonias to plant.
But before those begonias were even in the ground, I'd began to think about spirits.
I didn't have the recorder I liked to use for paranormal investigation so I decided to take a picture and look for orbs. But when I pulled out my fully charged phone, it abruptly shut down.
I'd had the same experience exactly when I was taking pictures during an investigation several months earlier. Except in that case my phone, which had been fine prior to the investigation, was ruined. This current phone was the replacement. So I was a little mad at myself for taking it out of the car. Mad but not afraid. Because it was my belief then that nothing on "the other side" could possibly hurt me.
I tried to restart my phone with no luck at all. So I decided to leave and check my phone again a few miles down the road.
Driving away, I felt the a presence with me in the car. It wasn't a peaceful presence. Instead it felt jangly and hyper. I had the sense that there were multiple spirits present. There was a giddy kind of energy that didn't seem entirely benign.
But in line with my new age beliefs, I pushed my sense of unease aside, and decided to ask whatever was there for guidance. Thinking the spirits I sensed might be deceased family members, I told them about whatever new age or occult idea was currently percolating and waited for a response.
A few moments later, my phone finally turned back on. I plugged in the auxiliary cable and started to listen to the audio book I'd played on my way to the cemetery but all I heard was static. In between the bursts of interference I heard the word 'path.' Thinking of my question, I decided to take that word as a go.
Because everything, when it came to the new age, was always a go.
Back to the Cemetery
The first rule: in persons who are going from mortal sin to mortal sin, the enemy is ordinarily accustomed to propose apparent pleasures to them, leading them to imagine sensual delights and pleasures in order to hold them more and make them grow in their vices and sins. - The Rules of St. Ignatius
Since my phone was now working, I turned the car around and went back to the graveyard to try to capture some orbs. A part of me was hoping to receive more information from the demons I believed to be the human spirits.
By the time I got back to the cemetery the spirits were no longer talking. So I took a few photos and left. On the way home, my audio book played clearly through the stereo speakers. My phone continued to function.
I don't even remember now, what new occult plan I had run past the demons I met that day. But whatever it was I'm quite sure I went ahead with it.
It never occurred to me then that the spirits who spoke to me might be working against me. Even though the so-called guidance I received over and over during my years in the new age only served to lead me from sin to sin.
Just as St. Ignatius said.
May God protect us all!
The movie White Noise was one of several gateways on my path new age and occult deception. But it wasn't really the movie so much as it was the EVPs that were played at the beginning of the film.
I was already deep into various Eastern practices like yoga and meditation at this point and very interested in what lay on the "other side." So the idea of "scientifically proving" the existence of spirits captivated me. And there was something about the EVPs themselves that spoke to me. Which shows, I think, that I was already very far from God.
So, not long after the movie came out, I began recording EVPs on my own and in the company of friends. My favorite spot for EVP recording was cemeteries, though I did visit other locations as well. In the beginning, I got nothing but static. But finally in the summer of 2005 I could my first clear EVP.
I was very excited. Not noticing or caring that the voice I had recorded was low pitched and ominous.
The EVP itself was only a single word and while most people (including myself) thought the word spoken was 'good' others heard it differently. What was clear was that it was a word and it that it seemed to be spoken in answer to my question.
It had a quality I would soon recognize in other preternatural communications of slightly overlapping the question posed.
At the time, I believed I'd recorded a human spirit, just as claimed in the movie "White Noise." And another twelve years would pass before I would fully understand that the spirits I was communicating with were far from benign.
This is not to say that departed humans cannot contact the living. Only that it is a rare occurrence which happens within very narrow perimeters. According to Church-decreed expert on religious demonology and auxiliary member of the International Association of Exorcists, Adam Blai:
There are Church approved books describing many instances of souls manifesting to the living to signal their need for prayer... Though souls in purgatory have been allowed to speak to the saints, that is usually not the situation for the average person.... In the cases of the saints they did not call up the spirits or seek guidance, information, or comfort from them. Once the request for prayer was made communication stopped on both sides... Any communication beyond “help me,” or some other request for prayer, is almost certainly demonic deception. - Possessions, Exorcisms and Hauntings
As Blai points out, often the first word paranormal investigators hear in their investigations is 'help me' but sadly they do not help (through prayer). Instead they continue to request communication with any available spirits.
What they get are demonic spirits masquerading as deceased human beings - just like the one I recorded. And the influence of such spirits is eventually and inevitably dark.
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To learn about my upcoming novel which centers on EVPs and preternatural investigation please see the eBook Page on my author website.
Please note, this page includes Amazon affiliate links. If you purchase through one of my links I'll earn a small commission to help further my outreach.
Crystals in the Occult
In this video I talk about the common perception of crystals as a harmless or even silly superstition and why this is simply not the case.
I don't feel I presented this information as clearly as I should have in the video. So I wanted to summarize the main points:
- The connection between New Age ideas about the "power" of crystals and witchcraft.
- The absence of true supernatural properties within inanimate objects.
- Blessed objects and cursed objects.
- How crystals are used in spellcasting and ceremonial magic.
- The true nature of magic and how our ancestors had a better handle on this than we do.
- My own personal experience of the demonic through the application of crystals.
The Smoke and Mirrors Effect
I believe that one of the reasons I struggle to present content like this in a clear and coherent way is because anything to do with demons is, almost by definition. confusing. Satan does not want us to really understand this stuff - even to the limited degree that we (as humans) are able to grasp it.
That's why everything about the occult is obscure or secret or deceptive!
The occult has become SO mainstream, however, it is important that we do try to understand and discuss it. Even if it can be challenging. This is what I try to do here in the blog and on YouTube - and hope to eventually, God willing, explore further in my testimony ebook.
Please feel free to share any observations or questions on this content, either here in the blog comments or on YouTube and I will do my best to clarify.
St. Benedict medal and materials from Christ the King Priory.
Where I Got My Saint Benedict Medal
I decided to get a St. Benedict Medal after I heard Catholic exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger recommend it on YouTube. It was important for me to get a medal that was already blessed so I decided to order mine from the St. Benedict Center at Christ the King Priory a Benedictine monastery, mission and retreat center in Schuyler, Nebraska, US.
The material and Medal I received from the priory is pictured above. I chose a smaller sized gold plated Medal. It is very nice, as you can see from the pictures, and was only $10 plus shipping. This is the direct link to order a medal. (Please note, I have no financial relationship with the priory!)
About The Jubilee Medal of St. Benedict
The power of St. Benedict is revealed in this small object that has been fostered by his spiritual sons many years. Marvelous is the aid which the St. Benedict Medal affords to its devout wearers in the manifold necessities of soul and body. (From the pamphlet included with the Medal as pictured below)
One of the primary protections of the St. Benedict Medal is that it is believed to protect against evil spirits.
Material and pamphlet I received
Origin and Explanation of the Medal
St. Benedict (born at Nursia, Italy, in 480 AD) had a profound veneration for the holy cross and for our Savior Crucified. In virtue of the Sign of the Cross, he wrought many miracles and exercised great power over the spirits of darkness. In consequence of the great veneration in which St. Benedict was held from the early Middle Ages, it followed that a Medal was struck. (From the Pamphlet included with the Medal)
Meaning of the Latin
The front of the Medal shows St. Benedict holding a cross and the rule that he wrote to guide his own monastery. This rule is still in use today in Benedictine monasteries around the world.
Around the image of St. Benedict are these words in Latin: "May his presence protect us in the hour of death." St. Benedict has ever been the patron of the dying, because of the circumstances attending his own most glorious death, for he breathed forth his soul while standing in prayer before the Most Blessed Sacrament. (From the Pamphlet included with the Medal)
The Letters on the Other Side of the Medal
On the cross side of the medal we find the letters C S S M L - N D S M D, initials of the words Crux sacra sit mihi lux! Numquam draco sit mihi dux! The English translation for this is, "May the holy cross be my light! May the dragon never be my overlord!"). The large C S P B stand for Crux Sancti Patris Benedicti or "The Cross of [our] Holy Father Benedict." This letters are pictured in my St. Benedict medal below.
The other side of my medal
Until recently, I thought new age and occult temptation was something I’d left behind completely.
Then there was a night last weekend when I couldn't sleep. And for some reason, I decided to turn to a guided “brain wave meditation” for comfort. This was a meditation I was very familiar with. One that had lulled me to sleep many times when I was deeply involved in the new age.
The meditation itself was expertly produced and there was a seductiveness to it that I welcomed. I listened to it three times over before I fell asleep.
The next day, however, I didn't really feel rested - instead I felt down and kind of off. So I decided to listen to some other meditations on the same YouTube channel. All of which were produced by the same “brain wave” company). Just to see if there was something I had missed.
As I listened to these meditations, I noticed that many of the vibrations and background tracks were unusually deep in pitch. And, underneath the pleasant voice over, I sensed an underlying darkness. It felt malevolent.
I unsubscribed from the "brain wave meditation" YouTube channel and began to think about what had happened. The more I thought about it the more certain I felt. The meditations were dark and I had embraced it.
The fact that this had happened to someone who was well acquainted with the spiritual dangers of the new age – was sobering. And it gave me a new appreciation of the threat this stuff can pose.
And there is a lot of this kind of content. On YouTube and elsewhere.
New Age and the Occult in the Mainstream
Sometimes it seems like the new age and occult is everywhere. Here are a few examples.
- A professional organization to which I belong, the American Holistic Nurses Association, promotes numerous new age modalities.
- The first tier of meditations on my FitBit app are by Deepak Chopra.
- Popular health and wellness resources focus on new age, Eastern and even occult practices.
- YouTube searches for wellness or relaxation or related topics almost always return a host of new age results.
So it’s no surprise really that people consume new age and occult content. Unfortunately, for some this content will serve as a gateway to even deeper involvement in the occult.
I know this because I was of those people. And – as it turns out – still have the protentional to repeat the same mistake.
Even though I know that the new age and occult doesn’t actually offer anything. Even though I know that its guidance is circular, its peace is an illusion, and its tenants are false.
The Good News
The good news is that there are Catholic and Catholic friendly alternatives to everything the new age offers. And - unlike new age and occult practices - these alternatives actually work.
Thinking about all of this this week made me realize that it is important to keep posting on this topic here. I also decided that I want to talk about it on YouTube.
I will be sharing all of my upcoming videos here (and on my BarbaraGraver.com site) but you can also check them out on my YouTube channel too at YouTube.com/c/BarbaraGraver).
And if you can please subscribe!
I've been having some studio issues this week but I hope to get my first video up by the weekend!
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